Saturday, August 24, 2013

Confessions

A few posts ago I posted about my day.  A few days later, one of the blogs I love to read posted about how she laughs when she reads blogs make the author's life sound perfect.  She then proceeded to tell us some of her faults.

I'm pretty sure her posting wasn't a comment on my blog (she probably doesn't even read my humble postings!) but I thought about it.  I thought about my failures, my faults and the little things that make me the loveable person I am (you can chuckle here).  I started writing this blog to share ideas and (confession) to make some money.  I have done both (one more than the other!)

So, in an effort to be blatantly honest and upfront and so you get to know me a little better, I am going to share.

1.  Many Most of my projects don't turn out like I had envisioned them.  Actually, almost all do not.  I have an idea for a project and it's perfect in my head.  My methods are not perfect.  They're sloppy.  Most times I am happy with the outcome.  If I'm not happy, I can usually live with it.  If I can't, I usually toss it or pass it along to my daughter to try to do something with.

2.  I love to eat out.  I like to cook but I like to eat out more.  We eat out more than we should because my husband is sweet and knows how much I love it.  There's something about food that you don't make.  It tastes better.  As I type this, Firehouse Subs is making sandwiches for my family.  I will have to save this draft and go get them in a minute.
The Italian.  Notice the grapes?  My attempt to "healthy it up" for the kids.
 
3.  If you ever come to my house, chances are that it will look clean.  Don't open up any closets or any rooms with the door closed, though.  I love clean, organized rooms but I hate the "upkeep" it takes to get there.  I try to tackle a closet or a room or a drawer once a week and get it organized.  It doesn't happen often.  It's easier to just keep the doors closed.

Yes, my shoes look like this again.  I have the rods but they're empty.  It's easier to toss them in the closet.
 4.  I hate to drive.  I hate it with a passion.  I would rather get a ride or walk.  The roadtrips I take every year with the kids?  I DREAD them.  It's the driving, not the actual visit.  I would rather fly but, holy cow, it's not cheap!  So we drive.

5.  When I hurt myself badly, I push air between my teeth and my cheeks and make fart noises.  It doesn't help with the pain, at all, but it gives me something to focus on other than my broken toe or gushing cut on my hand.  Plus, it's kind of funny so my kids always laugh and my daughter has one of those laughs that you want to laugh with.  That does help with the pain.  Unfortunately, the fart noises are a habit so I've been know to push air between my teeth and cheeks in public which really embarrasses my giggling kids.


6.  I'm lazy.  I will take the easy way each and every time, unless it breaks the law.  (I'm also one of those people who NEVER, EVER break the law. . . the prospect of jail is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.  I don't even speed.  Never had a speeding ticket.)  Back on topic. . . I'm lazy.  I don't understand why people take twenty minutes to do something that takes three minutes when the outcome is the same.  (This could be the reason for confession number one.)

7.  I hate my birthday, Halloween, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and Thanksgiving.  I hate my birthday because the fuss embarrasses me.  I hate Halloween because it's kids begging for candy.  Most times they don't even have manners when they're doing it.  I hate Valentine's Day because it's sappy and stupid and I was always the kid whose Valentines were tossed because I didn't put candy in mine.  I hate Mother's Day because of the fuss towards me. . . though I always make a fuss for my mom.  I hate Thanksgiving because it's two days of cooking for an hour long eating fest and the leftovers are overwhelming.

Lots of safety pins and a crap-load of glue holds Princess Leia's outfit together. 
8.  I hate talking on the phone, especially when I feel like I have to.  I will email the crap out of you but, please, don't expect you can call me and talk for an hour.  It's not my idea of a good time.  I hate the obligatory phone calls my husband thinks we need to do on the holidays to all of our extended family.  I generally send people a text and have him call the ones who don't get texts.  I do text. . . I can talk to someone without actually talking to them.

9.  I punish my kids by taking away minutes from their bedtime and I let them earn it back through "hard labor".  This means I get chores I need to do done by them.  I will admit that there are times I feel exceptionally lazy (see number six) and have assigned penalties for things I would normally ignore just so they want to earn the time back.

10.  I have a weak stomach.  When my kids hurt themselves, I close my eyes and have them look and let me know if there's blood.  If they vomit, I do, too.  If I hurt myself, I will make my kid look and tell me how bad it is before I look at it.

There you have it!  I stopped at ten. . . that should be enough to convince those that don't know me that I'm not perfect.  If you do know me, you know perfection isn't even a goal of mine, let alone reachable!  I've "confessed".  I feel that I've met the challenge that my favorite blogger unknowingly tossed at me. . . but in my own way - laying in bed, eating a sub sandwich and letting the dog lick my plate while my son unloads the dishwasher.  Perfect.






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